That wasn't in the plan.

So, another long pause between updates, but here is basically what was missed:

We graduated! I have a Masters in Counseling and Tom has his Juris Doctorate. 

 
We graduated a day apart, Tom's graduation was on my Birthday in Orlando, and then a day later I graduated in Miami! We were so blessed that both of our parents were able to come into town and see both of us walk!

Tom took the Bar!

 
You can read about some of the details of our trip to Tampa for the bar in Leia's blog (yes our dog has a blog) under a post called Life Changes. All in all the trip was nerve racking but a great bonding experience with Tom's parents. You'll also read in that post about the fact that....

We Moved!

We packed up all our belongings in a Budget truck, loaded our life into it, and drove 13 hours over two days back to our home state of Virginia. there is more about this in the Life changes blog linked above, but let me just say, driving a 18' truck is on par with driving a sailboat against the wind. What an adventure!

And there was an Accident....

 

I took a tumble down some stairs and managed to break just about every shin related bone in my ankle. First I got a splint above my knee, then a short splint, now a walking boot.  Also got a walker, a wheel chair, and crutches... we owned the crutches, I struggled with them for the first time in my life so we did a walker instead. 

Then I discovered walking with a walker, or crutches, is essentially equal to doing pushups around the house. That is why we got the wheel chair.  Still have a few more weeks before I cant try walking again like a normal, 2 legged person.

So  we had many ups and one good fall down, but hey that's life. It has made me depend on Tom, and him learn to be a caregiver, which I think, in the long run, will help us both.

Survivors.

I stopped posting. It has been far too long, and I swear we are not dead. The last post was in December of 2011. Things were going great then, or so I thought, but then the New Year hit and my world collapsed. To gain a tiny (very nonspecific) bit of insight, here is a link to a Blog I wrote during that time, Wandering in the World without a Map.

For almost 8 months life was hell, and I do not use that term lightly. It was HELL, and it wasn't just our little 2 person unit that was affected. My immediate and extended family were all hit by the shock waves of the New Year. It was like our beautiful fruiting family tree was suddenly plagued with a blight which was creeping from the farthest limbs back toward the trunk, the core of our family.

I don't think I've cried so much for such a long time, but then, once the family tree was pruned of the blighted limbs, we slowly began to heal. It was not an easy process, and it is still, in 2013 not over (part of me questions if it ever will really be over). 

June 2012

Luckily, the core of our family was not infected, and we are regrowing, and in the summer of 2012, in one of my first steps toward healing, Tom and I came together on something; we adopted a lovely little girl who we named Leia (yes, she's a dog!).

She has become a constant joy during a dark time in my life. At first she was very afraid, possibly because she was an owner surrender, and her last family gave her up. Her first night home was pretty terrible because she cried from 11pm to 4 am and only took a 2 hour break (and I don't mean gentle whines, I mean shrieking). I was exhausted and worried because we live in an apartment and neighbors generally frown on a loud crying dog. Luckily the head of the rescue I work with gave me some advice and all was fixed.

June 2013

Today she is settled in, loves us both, but does still have some minor separation issues, luckily nothing that will get us kicked out. I can understand where she is coming from, after all, the family she had known all her life let her go, and I can only imagine... well,  more than imagine... how that had to have felt. Like I said, 2012 was a rough year, but Leia is the best part of it.

She brought Tom and I together. We work together to care for her and to do the best we can for her. He and I had our rough points, but we are making it through it, and are on our way to being a stronger couple for it.

This year will be the first time he has come to the beach with our family. It will also be the first year for Leia as well. We're in the process of preparing for another move, probably in the first half of 2014, and will both be graduating school in the next few months.

 Married life is not easy, no one said it would be, but it is worth it.  I am glad I have my partner, because despite all the pain in 2012 when all the dust settled, we were still side by side, bruised but not broken.

For the Record!

I Love Tickers, they really help you keep your head straight.

Long time no post? - Update on Life After the Wedding

And I am slacking, sorry to anyone keeping up with this blog, I am juggling a grand total of... 5 blogs (4 if you don't count this one) and the others are well updated, this one... well not so much.

Leaving the reception though flower petals and light-sabers to a song from 300 (the movie).

So, we've been married now for a bit over three months. Returning to school has been great but I keep getting the same question "So how are you liking married life? Any different?" and I never quiet know what to say. Maybe it was because we were married in our hearts long before we were married on paper, but ya know what? No, nothing really feels that different.

Now, there are probably a few good reasons they don't. The first being, (and if you didn't know this sorry to ruin the surprise) we were living together before the wedding. I think we didn't have as many big changes as couples who didn't live together before they were married. We didn't have to learn to give up space, or compromise about who's stuff we were keeping, or how to load the dishwasher (or who does it). We had already dealt with that so... next?

Also, we already had our own place, so no new apartment shopping. We got married, went on our honeymoon, and then came back to the life we were already living. Please don't get me wrong, this wasn't a let down by any means. We've always done really well together and can balance each other out, so for us, things not feeling different is a good thing.

The next question I've been getting, which I understand, is IF we intend to have kids. The answer? Yes! Absolutely! I have no problem answering that. I actually recently had a friend ask when we planned to start trying and if I wanted to join her in trying. Well,  two problems, we've only been married 3, months, and I am just starting the beginning of my 2nd of 3 years in school. So, to answer the question of if we will be trying in the next two years, No, probably not.

The one question I wasn't so ok with, was "so when are you due?"

...If your jaw just dropped a little, don't worry, mine did too!  Look, don't get me wrong, I know I'm not skinny, but I don't have a bump, nor is there a baby... my actually response was "Not for 3 years or more!"

I think they meant it as a joke but... yea... Note to self, things not to say to newly weds, even if it is a shotgun wedding. PS, if that person is reading this, no, I'm not offended and I hope you won't be.

So yea, if you are planning on getting married, brace yourself, and if you are already married, I think I get it now, and if you have kids, yea... I don't know about that yet, but I'll blog when I do.

He's my Rock

So tonight, for some unknown reason, I am dealing with a little anxiety about the wedding, and just couldn't settle down. Tom  asked me about it and I explained that it is probably just cause we're getting closer to the big day, and then he said something that blew me away.

"A bunch of my friends ask me if I'm getting nervous and I tell them no, I've been with her for 4 years, what is there to be nervous about?"

All at once everything went calm inside me. He's right. Even our very worst fights haven't been that bad, and we compliment each other very well. I am lucky to be marrying my best friend, and it's great to know he feels the same way.

Love you baby!

Rings aquired! along with a lot of other stuff.

So we now have our rings, I'm "done" with fittings, I've talked with the DJ, things are good! Well, minus my job ending yesterday. I thought I'd be fine but I cried in the car. The good news is we ended on good terms and perhaps I'll be hired again in the future.

Do you have the rings?

Frustration of the day... waited all week for the rings to be ready and they are..... NOT. Grr. Apparently they were waiting on the engravings because we were "Unsure of the engravings"... which was NOT the case at all. We knew from day 1 what we wanted AND they wrote it down... Sad panda no rings today. Tomorrow is another day.